So I quit my job as a director of engineering earlier this year. I was really burned out.

I have spent the last few months focusing my time on open-source development with the intention of going back to work as an engineer (not a manager).

It's been amazing. I've rediscovered the joy of coding. I remember why I got into this career in the first place.

I'm happy to talk about this if anybody else is thinking about doing it, just ping me.

#ruby #osslife

@flavorjones One of the engineers I work with stepped down as the VP/director (I forget his exact title) and has also been much happier for the change.

@flavorjones I knew it would be different, but I was frankly shocked by how much less stress I experienced and I carried to my life outside of work, going back to IC.

Also my schedule is my own. I’m not beholden to the whims and problems and schedules of my team.

Also I get hours of flow state nearly every day.

@flavorjones I made the same move (though perhaps different scale; Director of 1 of 4 Eng depts, with ~ 30 folks ultimately reporting to me) back in 2015-ish. Though I jumped directly into co-founding a startup, raising a small chunk, etc… moving on to another startup as 1st tech hire, failing, and then ended up at Heroku.

Boy, what a breath of fresh air it was to be an IC in an org like that, with so many kind, whip-smart, and user-focused folks.

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@flavorjones I think I’ve been musing on a similar thing. Does this resonate or was it something else that led to the burnout?

https://jamie.ideasasylum.com/2024/06/21/the-manager-s-unbearable-lack-of-endorphins

@flavorjones was the burnout caused by bad management or just too much time doing the same stressful job?

@sardaukar I find it really hard to diagnose, particularly in such a small text box. A lot of things contributed to my burnout.

Some of it was my personal relationship to work: my inability to erect healthy boundaries, and my ability to put up with lethal doses of bullshit (interestingly, these things also made me great at my job for a long time).

But I think what sealed it was the lack of feedback loops, the lack of dopamine in leadership roles. I was OK with it until I wasn't.

@jamie Yes, this definitely resonates. I usually refer to the phenomena you describe as "lack of feedback loops" or "lack of dopamine"

Simon Sinek's talk about this is part of my personal canon: https://youtu.be/ReRcHdeUG9Y?t=312

He uses Endorphins / Dopamine / Serotonin / Oxytocin / Cortisol to describe human behavior and it's epic

@flavorjones I think managing would burn me out, too.

@flavorjones oh, this is great! So I’m slightly wrong that because my swimming gets me endorphins and coding would give me dopamine. Management does neither, but maybe because of a structural / incentives problem.

My wife is always talking about Simon Sinek but I hadn’t seen this video